26b

he’s changed. not for the worst, mind you – but there is a social element that i was never aware of. so now i have to adapt.

lately, i’ve been dipping for pasta.

you know – when you’re getting it out of the bowl and there is a whole mess of noodles that won’t shake free and it’s like you never get to the end of them. so there you stand with your plate – meal half on and meal half off.

i keep dipping for him.

25b

just take charge. pick me up and make me go with you. show me that you can’t stand to be without me. i wilt into a series of “go aheads” when i just want you to show up at the door.

24b

he tells me to go find out what i want to do and just go for it.

but i can’t. i’m fumbling with my worn tissue of the present. all wrinkled and thin. that’s my level of ambition. just a millimeter away from ripping in two. quit tugging on me to find more when i have nothing to go on. my ambition is filled when he scoops me close to his chest in front of a crowd. hand on my belly at night. that smile that happens when i am so beautifully silly and full of myself. yep.

so he can chase his dreams and plans around the next tomorrow. inspire crowds. he’ll make a difference. i am not needed. but in existence, i find meaning by supporting him.

23b

places i would like to go:

alaska
new zealand/australia
jamaica
new york city
italy
tibet
seattle
california
ireland
venezuela
costa rica
salt lake city
scotland
iceland