33b

i am not all i thought i would be to you.

32b

this is all you get. for now. piece by peace.

31b

the votes are in and the shell is cracked. finger plugged in the dam to keep this going. must maintain the exterior if you wanna keep it all.

one turn.

two.

we all fall down.

30b

one day, love – just hang on and fate will take care of what we could not manage on our own. running with our different banners all flapping like netted goldfish will one day calm and tie. love you so. take this jade heart as a token and handle with care.

29b

dab some color on my cheeks
make it all go away
flake away the upper layer
and shut the dresser drawer
illusion never warrants complaints
or strife

27b

precious. you are so distant from me. you say it will be different when you find your balance. have a place to play loud music again. switch jobs. find what you seek.

and yet -

while we’re on the verge of all of these things coming true for you, i wonder… will you? will i (or anyone else for that matter) have you? you’re like a walking poem of potential. i know you’ll be great. but i think you’ll never give it all to me. because it’d be in the present. you always leave a part of yourself for the future and for things that are above me, this apartment, and everything else in this world. a wanderer for meaning. and i think i can adapt to deal. i love what i can get when it comes.

28b

don’t be so sad, dear love. it’ll be better – new jobs are always weird. besides – you’re the best at what you do.

touch it and it blooms. just like me, see?