79b

just when i thought things couldn’t get worse – your skanky girlfriend was tacky enough to post a picture of you two together on the internet. and you smiled – like you used to do with me. no decency to wait until the divorce was over.

our polaroids – you made the same face.

and i crashed inside – all over. every insecurity yelling in unison – you lies echoing in my head and chest. no surprise. just confirmation.

and i stared – to see if i could tell what made you prefer the stringy hair and glazed, strung-out eyes over me. no answers. but yet again, i’m not surprised.

78b

the pain came back
just like the cat in the children’s song
and i remembered how it felt
when the truth came out

dizzy

brick in the tummy

spinning memories

fate laughed and made the day of our divorce paperwork
exactly one year from the day
we closed on the house
the juxtaposition of the two
seemed to be too much
crash
down i went
in front of him
after this, there would be
no reason to call
no excuse for contact
tears in four eyes as his thumb
was on my cheek and
fingers in my hair
another long conversation
that lead us to the same place -
nowhere
kiss on my cheek as a souvenir
and the door closed
silence never felt so complete

77b

i miss my cat. he was cool. he was a jerk. and i love him so. i hope he knows that i could not take him with me. but i know he will be okay. i just miss him is all.

76b

saw him two days ago to do some paper work. and it was weird. he looked, sounded, and smelled like a stranger. he started to apologize, but there’s nothing left to say.

actions conflict.

end of story. our story…