4o

it was tonight that i realized
how damaged i am.
even the most lovliest of man
will not be able to fix me.
i want the impossible -
and until that day never comes,
i won’t feel safe.
the prick of insecurity comes too easy,
and it is only now that i realized
and acknowledge
the bulky bags that have been brought.
damn.

3o

it seems like i keep on discovering ways to throw him away. tonight – it was clothes. i was sorting though my closet – trying to conform to my small closet sizes – and i threw old articles of clothing in garbage bags.

things worn down.

out of style.

stained.

but also pieces of memories – shirt worn when proposed to. blouse that was on my body as i left my wedding reception. and so on. threads of past unraveled and disposed of.

2o

how do you make my skin feel ten times better by just having it touch yours? they say to love the skin you’re in – but i think that i will just choose to love the skin i am next to.