untitled

foreign is this activity
forced are my eyes
chalky path swept away
once it is barely behind
don’t know how it came
or how i stepped this far
dizzy are the windings ahead
and there is no road that will have me
impose my prints over
resentful paths
aimless aimless
but not lost
for there is not relative point
i want to embrace

untitled

never was it thought
that disposal over it
would become so easy
almost welcomed
but that realization has sent
logic back home
all packaged nicely
thick markered address
turn around – dust off hands
time to rearrange it all
throw away, keep
it is all for you, dear
and not for leverage
but just for you to enter
my heart
and it to feel like home

untitled

storybook cover getting worn with age
and happily ever after is about faded gone
schedules and duties bump your knees
balance thrown off so it’s drastic or drastic
all or nothing boy open your eyes
they’ve curtain-shut me out too long
why does there need to be change?
you’re employed – so that’s the death of fun?
freakin’ sick of that coffin you work on
in the garage of our future
responsibility won’t turn you to robot metal
because i’m still bleeding
red red trail to the door

newton’s law

never tied up the strings that dangled
when the phone clicked off and
put me to sleep with anxiety covers
pop a pill of sarcasm to get me through the day
smudge my mascara to match
my mood and i head out the door
not depressed by any means
but the storybook illusion has retired
smiling face greets at door that experiences
rotation 5 miles later due to a problemthat isn't mine
WYSIWYG – i got mine
i'm learning to mold though
what doesn't go up doesn't come down
not a flinch anymore when he erupts

junior II

first day again except today,
you're my way there
seeing you behind glass door
could be my end with a smile.
lazy eyes and crumpled shirts
line the walls in my room
steal my sleep and make me stare at red numbers
too much time to write these songs
that will never find their way
nothing to go home to
nothing to run from
playing snake on my phone seems fit

untitled

please take this wrinkled receipt
so i can exchange those words i said
growing from the outside in didn’t fit
let your smile land on my cheek and we’ll shove this boat offshore
overcome the black nail scrapes that scream
on these chalkboard hearts
melt into my mind – let me breathe you in
the night is aglow with celebration
stars lit for only you and i
radiant are fingertip touches and no words
sit there, sit nice
watch me watch you

brake high

don't even know how i'd do it
something that we wear
endless and engraved
no reason – none at all
he told me to stop thinking
"just feel"
that's the most dangerous proposition
i've heard all week
plug my ears and la-la-la to distant songs
no attention to the issue at hand
can only juggle for so long
something -or someone -will hit the floor soon
just like cars in a city at rush
something's gonna have to give
brake or be broken, right?
yeah.
i've never prayed so hard for a red light.

movie mind

that's fine.  i'll just wait.
go ahead and blow up just once more
come knock-knocking hours later
with chocolate words and flower touches
happy times are nothing but ticking
ticking
countdowns
until your lack of control
yes, honey, i know
never meant to hurt – wasn't about me
volcano expression -hot lava seeping into skin, eyes, mouth
was never about villagers or friendly trees, either
shuffle the justifications
and deal me my hand
i'm a better bluff than you'd think
thoughts entertain
next show time is scheduled for
not-around-you o'clock

untitled

not going dry today
have drunken so much hurt
and now it’s time to swagger and sing
not the worst by any means
but quickly falling down down
regret, invisibility, no, done -all things i wish for
all signs that are posted and leaning when
one leaves
want to float i do
not invest, not commit
i’ll tuck these away and forget
those are bad thoughts, little girl
can’t ask, can’t expose
without casting into flames
what is secure – all or nothing
duty, loyalty
what a binding concept
i’ll set out my clothes for tomorrow
and this heartless jerk will retire

untitled

i want to start this like an
intake of breath before a song
shoulders rolling forward from
experiments gone wrong
and there’s still too many hours in the day
where are you white car?
spin faster black wheels
and we’ll go away so we can come back
twisted newspaper embarrassed
from how many times i’ve scanned it with my eyes
and people around me doing important things
polite coughs, open books, moving pens
contrast with this empty head
it’s fine, it’s okay, ’cause i’ll wake up tonight
pull the rug from under distractions
and we’ll toast to getting lost
while finding ourselves
fingers run through my hair
remind me it’s all in a day’s work