20o

a spider has made its home on the star of my christmas tree this year – his web between the points.  and i think it would be inhospitable and generally out of the seasonal character if i made him relocate at this time.

this year, the innkeeper has room.

14o

i am becoming anti social in my older state.  i hate making small talk in the morning on the elevator with strangers.

10o

i love my brother. we’re not close and i don’t know if we’ll ever be – but i admire him. he has always been out of place but has plugged on despite. i hope he finds his niche in this hard world.

77b

i miss my cat. he was cool. he was a jerk. and i love him so. i hope he knows that i could not take him with me. but i know he will be okay. i just miss him is all.

71b

it was very interesting. i had given him all of the pictures that remind me of him and “us.” two boxes gone…

and all that remained was a 1″ stack in those boxes.

and i told a friend of how it was a symbol of my emptiness. she said, “or – you can see it as how you are going to enjoy refilling them with better memories.”

perspective – all the difference.

68b

for the first time in a long time, i picked up a guitar because i wanted to play. no judgment from wood and strings – just a “glad to see you” as the sounds said things i could not feel.

61b

just one more conversation and it can be laid to rest. the one apology that needed to be made. three years sighting and still new. but it’s always been three, hasn’t it? take your stars and i’ll take mine and we’ll write our tragedy in the sky.

60b

i don’t like hanging out with groups of friends. i’m much more of a one-on-one kind of gal. i can just “be” and don’t have to perform. can’t break my mold of happy, perky me without raindrops of questions. so maintenance is required in group settings. but the other night, i was with a girl friend. we ordered pizza, overate, and laid in her living room floor. she allowed me to be neutral. good stuff.

46b

came into work
sit
computer comes on
clicks of keys
coworker says -
you’re quiet today
smile and nod
tornado in a jar
with a smile

43b

right now, you’re hammering and painting your studio – working so hard to build something i fear will tear us apart.

oh – look… the wall is up.